JOURNAL #1 - Welcome Back To The Trenches.

I am going through what is arguably one of the most difficult seasons of my life.

Someone I considered a friend tried to ruin my reputation.

My 5 year relationship ended in one of the worst ways possible.

All of that while I'm going through the toughest business transition I've ever had to face.

This is definitely rock bottom. Yet, I'm here writing to you. And what I'm about to share might get a bit "dark". But it's just reality and when I started documenting my life I took a vow not to fall into sharing just the highlight reel but the reality of choosing a different path. The highs AND the lows.

So before I start, understand that I am not doing it to gain sympathy or pity out of anyone. Quite the opposite. What I learned (and am still learning) in the past few months has been more valuable than whatever happened when my life was easy.

As it made me look in the mirror and confront parts of myself I absolutely avoided facing the last few years. And doing so has lit a fire I almost forgot I had.

So I figured that there was no better time to (re)start documenting but this time with a twist. I am sharing it as it happens and not years later.

So if you're here reading, welcome to the trenches.

Story Of Betrayals

I'm not very social, this is mostly due to the fact that most of my time is spent either working, creating or training. So my circle is quite small and I try to be careful with the people I let in my life. Personally or professionally.

This was not always the case. As I evolved and grew, I had some relationships that quietly but disappointingly fell off. That's life I guess and I came to terms with it. But what happened most recently has been a lot tougher.

The first one has been an old client of mine. To be honest, one of the best I ever had. Not only because it is one that benefited the most from my services. As he publicly said himself:

"Needless to say, across online business and entrepreneurship, it is by far the best decision I have ever made in my life…"

But beyond that, at some point I considered him a friend.

So you could imagine my surprise when another client of mine sent me screenshots of messages he'd been sending about me behind my back, claiming I scammed "more than 40 people".

And on top of that, it all happened the same day I was grieving the death of a pet.

Just because I was questioning business decisions he had made.

As I was getting into a darker and darker place by the second and plotting revenge, a friend told me "let your reputation speak for itself and do the work".

Nothing better could have been said as I knew I had great clients, but this event made me incredibly grateful for the community and the bond we have created as some of the answers he got genuinely made him crash out and made me laugh even in a very dark time.

This made me realise the importance of relationships even in business as it allowed me to totally dismiss it, gave me the space and time to grieve, and prevented me from doing things I would have regretted.

The second betrayal is a lot more recent and as dark as it might be, I can't complain about it, as I've asked for it. Literally.

Not only because I felt like something tragic had to happen for me to wake the fuck up and stop wasting my potential and staying in comfort.

But that morning, I prayed. I'm not really religious, but I consider myself spiritual, and as I was transitioning in business and in life, I asked the universe (and my mom who I know is watching over me) to send my way whatever was needed for me to step up and enable me to reach my goals.

The same day, I discovered my partner of 5 years was cheating on me.

The lesson here is that I will NEVER pray again. lol.

But jokes aside, that "coincidence" did put things into perspective and allowed me to process it by seeing why this was needed for me to finally have the courage to just leave that relationship that clearly wasn't serving me.

And it became even more clear as my closest friends expressed how relieved they were to learn that news.

So I, myself, instead of anger, resentment or whatever negativity could have come my way, became relieved.

And the overwhelming support, love and help I got from my friends during that time allowed me to turn the page with no hard feelings whatsoever, and I will forever cherish and focus my energy into those relationships even more as I'm forever grateful for them.

But Business Is OK Right?

Well, yes and no

I mean, it's not easy. But it never was supposed to be easy. And life is going to have to throw A LOT MORE my way for me to even consider giving up.

But transitioning threw a lot more challenges at me than I had anticipated.

Some of you already know, I was a coach (of coach of coach of coach…). But I became fed up with it.

Yes I loved doing it, loved my clients, loved the lifestyle it brought, loved how "easy" it was.

But it just felt wrong, for so many reasons.

Not only do I find the idea of me coaching service businesses while I, myself, didn't have one, incredibly unaligned.

But charging the price I was charging (very expensive) for people, especially people starting out, to "maybe" succeed or sometimes not even doing anything with it kinda bothered me.

I much prefer sharing that knowledge for free (and that's what I'll do here) a lot more aligned with my mission.

And if I have to build something BIG, I want it to be 100% aligned with it so I can give it my all.

That's where KNVRTs was born. Sales has always been my biggest lever since I started. Not only my story of me winning the most prestigious academic title in the field you can have. But even in all my previous work, people just loved my way.

Like everybody, I don't like manipulative and unethical sales. Except that with internet, it became the norm. To the point where I learned that the way I sell is called "ethical selling", when it should just be called: selling.

And today, most businesses either fell into the trap and lost their humanity, which often leaves prospects suspicious and on the defensive, and even unhappy clients.

Or they refuse to "sell like a salesman" and lose clients to those who have no ethics. I myself fought against that not only with my own businesses but with all the clients I've worked with along the way.

And these years of trials and errors showed me one thing: when you finally crack the code, the results always exceed expectations. On the numbers, and on how it feels selling that way.

So that's the mission I have with KNVRTs: bringing those selling systems and methods into businesses.

So far the soft launch has generated 19,300€. It might seem ok on paper, but in truth I still struggle to pay myself with it since most of it goes back into software, AI, freelancers and coaches.

And even if I'm still testing my positioning and my offers, my biggest problem is marketing.

Until now I never really had to market anything. My reputation was doing the job and clients came by themselves, or through word of mouth, for my coaching.

So I had to come to terms that I am a beginner in this area. And that learning means failing plenty of times. Learning from each failure, adjusting course. Instead of doing what I used to do: nothing, so I'd never have to face failure.

A few days ago someone I consider my mentor even called me out on this, telling me to push my marketing much harder but above all to raise my prices, and by a lot.

And he's not the first one to tell me that, especially about the price. My reasoning was just to keep the offer affordable at the start, to learn from the market and collect more case studies.

But I'm going to listen to their advice, and we will see where it goes. And as it is really the beginning of the business, everything will be documented here. You'll see exactly how my experiments go.

The Beauty In All Of That

Despite all of those challenges, I wouldn't change it for the world.

Not only because it's been a while since I've felt as alive, excited and grateful as I am at the moment. It literally put gasoline in the fire I had in me.

I'm back fully documenting it all like I was for Dropout. I'm creating, making art and grinding like I didn't for a loooong time.

But also because I have pretty big ambitions, bigger than most, and if I want to have a chance of reaching them, I have to create a version of me that does not exist yet.

This season, all that pain and lessons are absolutely needed and essential for it to come out.

The me of a few months ago could never reach them, that I can guarantee.

That's why starting this journal now means the world to me.

I know I'll come back to it one day and see how far I've come from this grueling season.

And I also know few may read this and realise how necessary whatever they are going through is for their growth and the only option is to be grateful for it and just keep pushing.

Halsius